How Not To Become A Crotchety Old Man

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• Author : Mary McHugh
• Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
• File Size : 47,8 Mb
• Release Date : 2009-03-17
• Total pages : 146
• ISBN : 9780740781551
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Download How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.

• Author : Mary McHugh
• Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
• File Size : 18,7 Mb
• Release Date : 2008-03-01
• Total pages : 145
• ISBN : 9780740788659
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Download How Not to Become a Little Old Lady in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

You can be little. You can be old. You can be a lady. But you don’t have to be a little old lady! We’ve all seen her, hunched forward, her hair tucked neatly under a plastic rain bonnet. She’s clutching expired coupons, or discussing her latest health problems over lunch. She’s a little old lady . . . and she's coming your way at 2 mph. Little old ladies have elastic waistbands on all their slacks. They save rubber bands, remember fifteen-cent McDonald’s hamburgers, and have never seen a public rest room that was clean enough. How Not to Become a Little Old Lady is for any woman who is proud to have escaped little old ladyhood—or those in danger of slipping into it. Lighthearted and affectionately funny, it also includes charming illustrations from Adrienne Hartman.

• Author : Mary McHugh
• Publisher : Willow Creek Press
• File Size : 13,7 Mb
• Release Date : 2014-07-12
• Total pages : 96
• ISBN : 9781623435554
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Download If I Get Hit By a Bus Tomorrow, Here's How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

With this delightful, tongue-in-cheek guide for men who can win a case before the Supreme Court or run a conglomerate but can’t find the butter, Ms. McHugh provides a step-by-step guide for making breakfast, emptying the dishwasher, finding the clothes hamper and doing the laundry, along with an assortment of other domestic necessities. She continues with wise advice for men whose wives are pregnant—“How to Live with a Pregnant Wife Without Complaining about Anything While Making Her Feel Sexy and Desirable At All Times”, tells them how to go without sleep for three months after the baby is born, and finishes up with “How to Watch Football and the Baby at the Same Time.” A chapter on taking care of three small boys while staying sane should be on every young father’s emergency list for times when his wife is out of town on business or visiting her mother in Iowa. And finally, instructions on answering a ringing telephone, folding shirts for a business trip and finding his wallet, keys, glasses, socks and underwear are absolute must-reads for every man who thinks some invisible being does all those things. Aimed at busy women of all ages, this book will also make grown men laugh and might even be useful when they run out of underwear.

• Author : Tom Cohen
• Publisher : Running Press
• File Size : 41,9 Mb
• Release Date : 2013-10-01
• Total pages : 144
• ISBN : 9780762450664
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Download Dogs with Old Man Faces in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

There's just something easy to love about those dogs with old man faces, with mugs weathered by experience and wisdom.

• Author : Ed Fischer,Jane Thomas Noland
• Publisher : Running Press Adult
• File Size : 51,6 Mb
• Release Date : 2014-03-11
• Total pages : 128
• ISBN : 9781476742915
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Download What's So Funny About Getting Old in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

One bonus of getting older is that it gives us a great perspective on life ...and that includes plenty of humor! This collection of cartoons, quips, quotes, and insights introduces a new comedy genre: elderhumor. It captures the wry hilarity of our real-life sitcoms. Generational vocabulary gaps, miscommunications, preoccupation with health and comforts, foibles, disguises (for aging), even physical limitations -- all can have their funny sides when we're laughing at ourselves. One bonus of getting older is that it gives us a great perspective on life ...and that includes plenty of humor! This collection of cartoons, quips, quotes, and insights introduces a new comedy genre: elderhumor. It captures the wry hilarity of our real-life sitcoms. Generational vocabulary gaps, miscommunications, preoccupation with health and comforts, foibles, disguises (for aging), even physical limitations -- all can have their funny sides when we're laughing at ourselves. This book, a light-hearted gift for anyone who's 50-plus, is a memoryjogger too. Remember the Katzenjammer Kids? Jack Armstrong? Apple Mary? Check out your friends' ages by their responses to a "Vanishing Words" test (examples: "spider," "broomstick skirt," "running board," "the shag"). If you're still calling the refrigerator an "icebox," it's a giveaway -- you're probably over 60. What's So Funny about Getting Old? is brought to you by a comedy team of two. Ed Fischer is an award-winning cartoonist. Jane Thomas Noland, author of Laugh It Off (what's so funny about trying to lose weight?) is a books editor and a former Minneapolis Star Tribune feature writer. Both have delicious ways of looking at life. Both, like all the rest of us, are getting older. Laughter heals. Laughter helps. Laughter keeps us in shape emotionally and physically. Read this book and try it. You'll be convinced, as these authors are, that there's only one way to grow older -- with a healthy sense of humor!

• Author : Peter Ferry
• Publisher : Unbridled Books
• File Size : 47,7 Mb
• Release Date : 2015-05-18
• Total pages : 256
• ISBN : 9781609531188
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Download Old Heart in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

Tom Johnson has turned 85 and has suffered a few “events,” though he knows his mind is sharp. His oldest son, who had Down Syndrome has died, and his remaining two children want to move him out of the homestead lake house and into a retirement home in town. What Tom wants to do is to find the only woman he ever loved, a woman he met in the Netherlands where he was stationed during World War II. And so he slips away, deftly covers his tracks, and begins his search for her in Eindhoven. While his children try to track him down and then have him extradited back home, Tom delves into love and loss and the value of memory. Soon he catches sight of a woman he believes to be Sarah, the love he lost almost a lifetime ago. He will have to fight for her affections and forgiveness, even as he fights for the legal right to stay in the Netherlands in the name of love and family and all the remaining rights of an old man.

• Author : Mary McHugh
• Publisher : Chronicle Books
• File Size : 20,5 Mb
• Release Date : 2012-07-06
• Total pages : 99
• ISBN : 9781452104461
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Download Good Granny/Bad Granny in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

This mischievously funny and charmingly illustrated volume celebrates grandmothers who love to spoil their grandchildren rotten! Every grandmother knows that having grandchildren is one of the greatest pleasures in life. When your children finally get around to having their own children, you get a beautiful new baby in your life—and best of all, you’re not responsible for how this one turns out! Now comes the dilemma. Should you be a Good Granny who gives the little cherub healthy food and educational toys? Or should you be a Bad Granny, indulging your grandkid in Kentucky Fried Chicken, video game marathons and trips to the racetrack? In Good Granny/Bad Granny, Mqry McHugh explores both sides in a hilarious series of examples, all delightfully illustrated by Patricia Storms.

• Author : Tom Hay
• Publisher : Summersdale Publishers LTD - ROW
• File Size : 36,8 Mb
• Release Date : 2016-09-08
• Total pages : 161
• ISBN : 9781783729319
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Download Suddenly Senior in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

‘You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.’ John Mendoza You might be getting a bit thin on top, plump at the middle and creaky around the knees, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten how to enjoy yourself! This collection of witty quotations, light-hearted yarns and cheerful jokes will help you chalk that last ‘senior moment’ down to experience, forget the grey hairs and the twinges, and celebrate getting older with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your wrinkle.

• Author : Ken Blanchard,Morton Shaevitz
• Publisher : Berrett-Koehler Publishers
• File Size : 10,8 Mb
• Release Date : 2015-02-02
• Total pages : 141
• ISBN : 9781626563353
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Download Refire! Don't Retire in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

Bring a renewed sense of purpose to the next chapter of your life with the New York Times bestselling author’s guide to thriving in retirement. Many people see their later years as a time to endure rather than as an exciting opportunity. Yet research and common sense confirm that people who embrace these years with energy and gusto consistently find them to be rich and rewarding. In Refire! Don't Retire, Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz offer inspiring insight and thought-provoking questions to help people make the rest of their lives the best of their lives. In the trademark Ken Blanchard style, the authors tell the compelling story of Larry and Janice Sparks, who discover how to see each day as an opportunity to enhance their relationships, stimulate their minds, revitalize their bodies, and grow spiritually. As they learn to be open to new experiences, Larry and Janice rekindle passion in every area of their lives. Readers will find humor, practical information, and profound wisdom in Refire! Don't Retire. Best of all, they will be inspired to make all the years ahead truly worth living.

• Author : Ashton Applewhite
• Publisher : Celadon Books
• File Size : 30,7 Mb
• Release Date : 2019-03-05
• Total pages : 304
• ISBN : 9781250297242
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Download This Chair Rocks in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

Author, activist, and TED speaker Ashton Applewhite has written a rousing manifesto calling for an end to discrimination and prejudice on the basis of age. In our youth obsessed culture, we’re bombarded by media images and messages about the despairs and declines of our later years. Beauty and pharmaceutical companies work overtime to convince people to purchase products that will retain their youthful appearance and vitality. Wrinkles are embarrassing. Gray hair should be colored and bald heads covered with implants. Older minds and bodies are too frail to keep up with the pace of the modern working world and olders should just step aside for the new generation. Ashton Applewhite once held these beliefs too until she realized where this prejudice comes from and the damage it does. Lively, funny, and deeply researched, This Chair Rocks traces her journey from apprehensive boomer to pro-aging radical, and in the process debunks myth after myth about late life. Explaining the roots of ageism in history and how it divides and debases, Applewhite examines how ageist stereotypes cripple the way our brains and bodies function, looks at ageism in the workplace and the bedroom, exposes the cost of the all-American myth of independence, critiques the portrayal of elders as burdens to society, describes what an all-age-friendly world would look like, and offers a rousing call to action. It’s time to create a world of age equality by making discrimination on the basis of age as unacceptable as any other kind of bias. Whether you’re older or hoping to get there, this book will shake you by the shoulders, cheer you up, make you mad, and change the way you see the rest of your life. Age pride! “Wow. This book totally rocks. It arrived on a day when I was in deep confusion and sadness about my age. Everything about it, from my invisibility to my neck. Within four or five wise, passionate pages, I had found insight, illumination, and inspiration. I never use the word empower, but this book has empowered me.” —Anne Lamott, New York Times bestselling author

• Author : Danny Casale
• Publisher : Penguin
• File Size : 16,8 Mb
• Release Date : 2021-11-02
• Total pages : 224
• ISBN : 9780593330111
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Download Ur Special in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

Based on the wildly popular characters from Coolman Coffeedan, a colorful and charming collection of parables reminding us to face our fears, our anxieties, and our self-consciousness head-on. What do a naked cat, a sad turtle, an armless robot, and a sentient potato have in common? Quite a lot, actually! In this vibrant and heartfelt book, self-proclaimed bad animator Danny Casale delivers a much-needed jolt of positivity and humor to ease even the sourest of spirits. Fans of his Coolman Coffeedan accounts will recognize his simple and relatable illustrations, but the material is entirely new. Each chapter introduces a new friend and a new hardship, offering the perfect pick-me-up for whatever has you down. Tackling topics from loneliness and self-confidence to the perfect (ONLY) way to construct a bowl of cereal, this book will leave you feeling just fine. So don’t forget—no matter what you may be feeling on the inside, or what people may be saying on the outside, UR SPECIAL!

• Author : Wallace Stegner
• Publisher : Penguin UK
• File Size : 44,7 Mb
• Release Date : 2013-04-04
• Total pages : 224
• ISBN : 9780141392332
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Download The Spectator Bird in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

Literary agent Joe Allston, the central character of Stegner's novel All the Little Live Things, is now retired and, in his own words, 'just killing time until time gets around to killing me.' His parents and his only son are long dead, leaving him with neither ancestors nor descendants, tradition nor ties. His job, trafficking the talent of others, had not been his choice. He passes through life as a spectator. A postcard from an old friend causes Allston to return to the journals of a trip he and his wife had taken years before, a journey to his mother's birthplace, where he'd sought a link with the past. The memories of that trip, both grotesque and poignant, move through layers of time and meaning, and reveal that Joe Allston isn't quite spectator enough. Wallace Stegner was the author of, among other works of fiction, Remembering Laughter (1973); The Big Rock Candy Mountain (1943); Joe Hill (1950); All the Little Live Things (1967, Commonwealth Club Gold Medal); A Shooting Star (1961); Angle of Repose (1971, Pulitzer Prize); Recapitulation (1979); Crossing to Safety (1987); and Collected Stories (1990). His nonfiction includes Beyond the Hundredth Meridian (1954); Wolf Willow (1963); The Sound of Mountain Water (essays, 1969); The Uneasy Chair: A Biography of Bernard deVoto (1964); American Places (with Page Stegner, 1981); and Where the Bluebird Sings to the Lemonade Springs: Living and Writing in the West (1992). Three short stories have won O.Henry prizes, and in 1980 he received the Robert Kirsch Award from the Los Angeles Times for his lifetime literary achievements.

• Author : Mary Wesley
• Publisher : Open Road Media
• File Size : 41,5 Mb
• Release Date : 2013-11-12
• Total pages : 297
• ISBN : 9781480450578
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Download The Camomile Lawn in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

International Bestseller: A novel of youthful love and loss and “a powerful evocation of the war years” in England (The Guardian). On a hot August evening in 1939, cousins Oliver, Calypso, Polly, Walter, and Sophy spent one last night together, celebrating the end of summer, at the home of their aunt and uncle. Now, forty years later, as the motley cast of characters drive to the funeral of one of their own, they recall how important that night truly was—and all that came after. From Oliver, whose desperation to prove himself in war ended up as his downfall, to Calypso, whose flirtations landed her in an unlikely marriage with even less likely results, to Sophy, whose secrets from that night haunted her for the rest of her life, each of them recalls the twisted paths of love and betrayal they walked as the country came apart around them under the coming shadow of World War II. Mary Wesley masterfully interweaves tragedy and humor in this “extraordinarily accomplished and fast-moving” novel, presenting a tale of both the world at large and the dalliances, allegiances, and losses of her expertly crafted characters (Financial Times).

• Author : Hugh Morrison
• Publisher : CreateSpace
• File Size : 29,8 Mb
• Release Date : 2015-11-09
• Total pages : 42
• ISBN : 1519206356
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Download Retirement Jokes in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

'I see you've just turned 64. When are you thinking of retiring?' 'Constantly!' Most retirement jokes are just about old age, but this little book is packed with quips and quotes about retirement itself, making it suitable for anyone planning a retirement speech or looking for a retirement gift. So put on your slippers, light your pipe and sit back for a 'lump sum' of laughter!

• Author : David Almond
• Publisher : Hachette Children's
• File Size : 11,7 Mb
• Release Date : 2013-11-14
• Total pages : 124
• ISBN : 9781444920956
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Download Skellig in PDF, Epub, and Kindle

The beautiful and haunting novel that launched David Almond as one of the best children's writers of today When a move to a new house coincides with his baby sister's illness, Michael's world seems suddenly lonely and uncertain. Then, one Sunday afternoon, he stumbles into the old, ramshackle garage of his new home, and finds something magical. A strange creature - part owl, part angel, a being who needs Michael's help if he is to survive. With his new friend Mina, Michael nourishes Skellig back to health, while his baby sister languishes in the hospital. But Skellig is far more than he at first appears, and as he helps Michael breathe life into his tiny sister, Michael's world changes for ever . . . Skellig won the Carnegie Medal and the Whitbread Children's Book Award and is now a major Sky1 feature film, starring Tim Roth and John Simm. David Almond is also winner of the 2010 Hans Christian Andersen award. Powerful and moving - The Guardian This newly jacketed edition celebrates 15 years of this multi-award-winning novel.